Bestowing - The Love Language of Thoughtful Giving
Common Ground: Gifts Are Symbols, Not Transactions
We’ve all received a gift that felt deeply meaningful, not because of its price, but because of the thought behind it. A flower picked on a walk. A favourite ice-cream bought “just because.” A playlist made with love.
In every kind of relationship: romantic, queer, polyamorous, platonic, or chosen family, gifts can serve as tangible reminders of care. Bestowing is not about materialism; it’s about expressing love through intentional, thoughtful giving.
What Bestowing Really Means
Bestowing, or gift-giving as a love language, means:
Offering something that reflects thoughtfulness.
Celebrating someone with a physical token of love.
Creating surprises that bring joy and connection.
It is not:
A substitute for emotional intimacy.
A test of love or commitment.
About price tags or keeping score.
Manipulating with gifts to “buy” affection.
Why It Matters in Relationships
Bestowing strengthens connection because gifts act as symbols of care that linger long after the moment of giving.
When practiced with love, bestowing:
Builds lasting memories.
Demonstrates attentiveness (“I notice what you like”).
Makes people feel cherished and valued.
Adds fun, ritual, and playfulness to relationships.
Couple/Partner Exercise: The Surprise Swap
Plan a small exchange with your partner, friend, or loved one. Each person brings a “just because” gift that costs under £5 or costs nothing at all. (Think a note, a favorite snack, a wildflower, a drawing, or a playlist.)
After exchanging, reflect:
What did this gift say about how my partner sees me?
How did it feel to receive something unexpected and thoughtful?
Practical Tools for Everyday Bestowing
The Snack Rule: Pick up your loved one’s favourite treat when running errands.
Memory Box: Collect small tokens (ticket stubs, postcards, notes) as symbols of shared moments.
Micro-Gifts: Leave surprise notes, memes, or little treasures in lunchboxes or bags.
Season of Giving: Choose a random day each month to exchange “no reason” gifts.
Closing: The Power of Small Gestures
Bestowing isn’t about extravagance. It’s about presence. A gift says: “I thought of you, even when we weren’t together.”
Try this today:
Give someone in your life a small, thoughtful gift, whether that’s a kind note, their favorite coffee, or a flower from your walk.
A Gentle Invitation
At JKL Therapy Centre, we believe that love is built in both grand gestures and small tokens of care. If you’d like to explore how giving and receiving gifts can strengthen your relationships, our team is here to help.
Reach out to JKL Therapy Centre today, let’s create meaningful ways to celebrate love together.
