What is Compulsive/Obsessive Sexual Behaviour?

Compulsive or obsessive sexual behaviour is when sexual thoughts, urges, or actions start to feel overwhelming, repetitive, and hard to control  even when they cause distress or impact other areas of life. It’s not simply “liking sex a lot”; it’s when sexuality becomes tied up with coping, escape, or emotional survival.

For some, it might be endless scrolling on explicit websites late into the night. For others, it may be seeking sexual contact, in person or online, despite the fear of being “found out” or harming a relationship. Over time, these patterns can leave you feeling exhausted, ashamed, anxious, and disconnected from yourself and from others.

At JKL Therapy Centre, we know that shame can be one of the heaviest burdens to carry. It can whisper that you’re “broken” or “bad” and keep you from reaching out. We want you to know: you are not your behaviour. You are a whole person who deserves understanding, compassion, and the chance to make choices that truly work for you. Therapy offers a confidential, non-judgemental space to gently explore what’s going on underneath, so you don’t have to face it alone.

What issues can be addressed in therapy for compulsive/obsessive sexual behaviour?

  • Persistent urges or fantasies that feel uncontrollable

  • Using sex, pornography, or online sexual contact in self-harmful way

  • Feelings of guilt, shame, or secrecy surrounding sexual behaviour

  • Risk-taking that leads to anxiety, regret, or harm to relationships

  • Struggling to stop despite promises to yourself or others

  • Difficulty forming or sustaining healthy, emotionally connected relationships

  • Links between sexual behaviour and earlier life experiences or trauma

  • Rebuilding trust and self-respect after repeated patterns

Different groups and subgroups we work with

  • People experiencing compulsive sexual behaviour for the first time

  • Those who have lived with it for many years, perhaps in silence

  • Individuals who notice the behaviour intensifies during stress, grief, or conflict

  • People whose sexual behaviour has shifted after recovery from another compulsion

  • Clients from a range of sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures (monogamous, open, polyamorous)

  • Those whose sexual values and beliefs are shaped by faith, cultural expectations, or community norms

  • People who have been labelled as “sex addicts”, whether the label feels accurate or not and may have been misdiagnosed or misunderstood

  • Individuals who have tried cognitive-behavioural (CBT) or other therapies in the past without finding them effective

  • Those who feel harmed or shamed by previous treatment approaches

Who can benefit from therapy?

Individuals

If you’ve ever thought “Why can’t I just stop?” or “Something must be wrong with me,” you’re not alone. Therapy can help you understand the emotional needs, patterns, and triggers driving the behaviour, and support you in finding other, healthier ways of coping. You’ll be met with respect, kindness, and no assumptions.

Couples and different relationships

For partners, compulsive sexual behaviour can stir up feelings of betrayal, confusion, hurt, or mistrust. We offer a space for both of you or more if in a non-monogamous relationship, to speak openly, explore what’s happened, and decide together how to move forward. Our aim is not to shame but to rebuild understanding and choice.

Cultural Sensitivity

We understand that cultural and religious values shape how you see sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. Some clients feel an added weight of guilt or fear because of these influences. Our work is always respectful of your background and beliefs, so you can address your concerns in a way that feels safe and aligned with who you are.

FAQs

  • If you feel like you’ve lost control, if it’s causing distress, or if it’s harming relationships or work, it might be worth exploring in therapy. Also you can take this short test to reflect if you might have difficulties.

  • Some people use that term, others don’t. We focus on understanding your unique situation, rather than applying a one-size-fits-all label.

  • Yes. We work gently and at your pace. Many people feel shame when talking about sex, especially if they’ve been judged before. You won’t be judged here.

  • Therapy can help you understand triggers, learn healthier coping tools, and reduce the risk of relapse and if a setback happens, we work through it without blame.

  • No. The aim is not to remove your sexuality but to help you find a healthier, more balanced, and more fulfilling relationship with it.

  • It depends on your needs and goals. Some people notice a shift in a few weeks, while others may need deeper work. We decide together what works best for you.

Get in touch.

Get in touch with a member of our professional team.
All enquiries are handled non-judgementally, confidentially and with the utmost sensitivity.

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