Painful Sex

Therapy, Coaching, and Counselling

Pain during sex, also known as dyspareunia or anodyspareunia, is far more common than people often think, yet it’s one of the most hidden and least talked-about sexual health concerns. For some, the pain appears suddenly after years of comfortable intimacy. For others, it has always been there, making sex something to fear, avoid, or simply “get through.” You might describe the sensation as burning, stinging, sharp, or aching. You might dread intimacy or feel anxious in the lead-up to sexual contact, even with a trusted partner.

Experiencing pain can affect more than just the physical moment, it can touch your sense of self, your confidence, your relationship with your body, and your emotional closeness with others. Some people feel frustrated or hopeless; others carry shame or guilt, blaming themselves for not being able to “just relax” or “push through.” You may have even been told by a partner, friend, or healthcare professional that it’s “normal” or “in your head”, leaving you feeling dismissed or unheard.

At JKL Therapy Centre, we want to be clear: your pain is real. You do not have to minimise it or hide it. And you are not alone. There can be many reasons why sex is painful, physical causes such as hormonal changes, pelvic floor tension, endometriosis, or after-effects of childbirth; and emotional or psychological causes such as anxiety, trauma, relationship stress, or cultural conditioning. Sometimes it’s a mix of both.

Our role is to help you explore and address the emotional and relational side of painful sex, in a space where you are believed, supported, and never pressured. Together, we can work towards reclaiming a sense of safety, comfort, and, if you wish, pleasure in your intimate life.

What issues can be addressed in therapy for painful sex?

  • Understanding and processing the emotional impact of sexual pain

  • Managing fear, anxiety, or anticipatory tension before intimacy

  • Addressing shame, self-blame, or feelings of inadequacy

  • Healing from sexual trauma or past negative sexual experiences

  • Navigating the relational impact of painful sex, including avoidance, distance, or frustration between partners

  • Building confidence in communicating needs, boundaries, and comfort levels

  • Supporting emotional recovery after medical procedures, childbirth, or injury

  • Exploring the influence of stress, mood, or mental health on sexual comfort

  • Identifying cultural or religious beliefs that may contribute to pressure or silence around sexual pain

Different groups and subgroups we work with

  • People of all genders and sexual orientations

  • Individuals experiencing pain for the first time or for many years

  • Clients managing medical conditions (e.g. endometriosis, vaginismus, vulvodynia, prostatitis, Crohn’s disease) alongside emotional support

  • Those whose pain began after childbirth, menopause, surgery, or injury

  • Survivors of sexual trauma who want to explore intimacy safely

  • People navigating cultural or religious pressures around sex and intimacy

  • Couples where one partner experiences pain and both wish to rebuild closeness

Who can benefit from therapy?

Individuals

If you’ve ever left a sexual experience feeling hurt, dismissed, or emotionally raw, therapy can offer you a safe place to unpack those feelings. You can explore the link between your body, emotions, and mind, and learn how to approach intimacy in a way that feels safe, consensual, and pressure-free. Whether your goal is to reduce pain, rebuild desire, or simply understand your body’s signals better, we move entirely at your pace.

Couples and different relationships

When sex becomes painful for one partner, it can lead to confusion, frustration, or feelings of rejection for both. Therapy helps create open, respectful conversations where each partner feels heard. Together, we can explore non-painful ways to experience closeness, find intimacy that works for everyone, and rebuild trust without rushing or pressuring.

Cultural Sensitivity

We understand that in some cultures or families, speaking about sex, let alone painful sex, can feel impossible. You may have been taught to stay silent, to “put up with it,” or to prioritise a partner’s needs above your own comfort. Our approach is sensitive to your cultural and personal values, so you can talk openly while still honouring what matters most to you.

FAQs

  • Occasional discomfort can happen, but ongoing pain is a sign that something physical, emotional, or both, needs attention. You do not have to accept it as inevitable.

  • Yes, it can be, but that does not mean it’s “imagined.” Pain can be real and physical, even when emotional factors like anxiety or past trauma play a role.

  • Absolutely. You are not broken. Therapy can help you understand your experience, reduce shame, and find ways to feel safer and more comfortable in intimacy.

  • That’s your choice. Some people attend alone; others find it helpful to involve their partner so you can both learn new ways of connecting without pressure.

  • Healing is different for everyone. Some people feel a shift after a few sessions; for others, progress is gradual. We work at a pace that feels safe to you.

  • Yes. If physical causes are suspected, we encourage a medical assessment and can support you alongside GPs, gynaecologists, urologists, or pelvic health specialists.

Get in touch.

Get in touch with a member of our professional team.
All enquiries are handled non-judgementally, confidentially and with the utmost sensitivity.

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